Here I am again... I am sitting in an airport (Incheon International) and about ready to go back home for the second time in two years. I haven't written a lot in quite awhile because way back in October my life got interesting...
Here is a summary of the year 2009
I started a new job in January. YBM ELS an Adult Academy in nampo-dong Busan. BUSAN DYNAMIC MEGACITY a home to 4.3 million Koreans is a wonderful place to live, work and travel.
Nampo-dong is one of the biggest centers in Busan. Its location is subway metro line 1 stop 111
I taught an afternoon program involving kids and hated it. I wasn't interested in returning to the glory Gumi days of yelling at the youth.
February was a good time i worked an extra weekend and earned 75 extra dollars, I learned more about YBM and felt really respected. Geoffrey left at the end of this month and after finishing this month Andrew my new boss came.
March-December
I worked at DAEYANG Company an offsite teaching position located in SAHA-GU. I was paid 350 per month while YBM was given 2.0million won. These company workers were tired, boring and often late if they didn't come at all.
I also taught screaming kids again. I worked every Saturday including a few months were I had more than the allotted 4 hours for kids. I had 6 hours or even 8 hours.
I also did some private work for a fellow teacher. I enjoyed working with her because of her easygoing nature.
In August I worked 168 hours for my company and I had close to 20 hours of additional work
In October Piff happened. Pusan International Film Festival. The biggest even in Busan--I attended 4 movies.
November 29th- I got married. I went to Gumi and married Kim Eun Ju. The biggest and most famous person from Sangju. Where is that?
She and I lived in my one room studio for a month before moving to our new apartment located in Gwangan a busy district in Busan and popular with tourists because of the beach.
December came and went...My company cut me after completing my year contract
HERE is my feelings about this....
I worked a year and agreed to 1 year. I changed my mind about my attitude of work. I agreed to teach kids, work all hours, and do anything without complaining. I wanted fair chances to improve my teaching and continue working there.
In March I had an observation and was insulted by a man who judged my character and not my teaching. I couldn't have a rational talk with him and when i asked my boss to help me I got the cold shoulder. When i had some problems no one would fix it. Its the job of the company to fix the teachers complaints but instead of helping me they made me the problem.
YBM let me down the long and the short of it. I wanted to do more for myself, for YBM and ultimately stay there longer. I need more time in this job field but going through appropriate channels didn't help.
Showing Facts didn't help
Many students complained about my teaching but my company refused to hear the positives. i taught an after-school program in the afternoons twice for a woman who loved my work and she loved all the work I did for her on Saturday (43 times) Students took me out for lunch or dinner or coffee too many times to count. i was given presents many times.
The last present I was given was from a man who later turned out to be a big baby when i asked him to keep the conversation appropriate. I lost students because of other students like him (men who won't shut up because they are older or oldest) I hate that part of Korean society the self righteous old fart who thinks he is so god damned important. Its truly backwards.
korea is a little mixed up to me. Example, I went to Centum City a very developed, modern age city with computers, departments and everything in digital form and 2 hours later I went to a district with old women pushing carts down the street carrying groceries. How can the government not develop the city equally? Sounds like bullshit to me.
Its 2pm I will be home today at this time tomorrow I can say I was already here yesterday
And the cycle continues i will be coming back to Korea again hopefully for the last time to work teaching kids and enjoy my newapartment.
my new apartment is below my brother in laws house. Its should be fun
I will write a new blog again soon i hope
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
PIFF
November 8th through the 16th
An Event that is probably one of the most popular festivals in Busan if not all of Korea. A venue that was held in Centum City, Haeundae, and Nampo-dong.
The extravaganza kicked off for me following my work last Saturday. I met my gf and we went to Daeyoung Theater in Nampo to see Running with Karma.
I thought this was a good movie. It was about a Korean monk who could see things happen to people in the future. Busan kukjae younghajae is the first and only International Film Festival I have ever been to.
I wanted to make the most of it and was able to watch a grand total of 4 movies.
I saw two of them with my co-worker Mike and one by myself.
November 12-bad Day to go Fishing
November 13th Slovenian Girl
and on the 14th I saw the movie Zero
Its been a week now and I just said goodbye to my darling until next weekend. I got a haircut today in order to make a good wedding photo next week.
Its coming up soon... I will be married in 42 days.
PIFF was a wonderful respite. It was a time to make me see a different side of events and new idea in life.
I started out this week with bad news. I was told that my contract wasn't going to be renewed. I have taught to the best of my ability. I did extra work..Daeyang Company and weekends. I didn't teach as well as my company wanted so as a result fo my ability I am having to move on. I wasn't given much chance to explain my situation, I wasn't helped when I was needed. I feel that 50% of the blame should be on YBM. I served YBM to the best as I could. I never complained about bad hours, poor classes, I asked Andrew my senior teacher for advice, solutions, and was met with it won't work. I feel let down and humilated.
Now its almost Monday again, i will return to a company that has made its intention clear that I am just filling the quota. I can't wait to find a new job.
its sad but true.
Im in a funk now. I am all alone. I don't feel like I have real friends in this place (at least not anymore) I have never been against working in Korea even though its just work work work and there is never a moment to truly appreciate existence. I stay here because of my little drop of heaven.
I never want to give that up. I want us to desperately try new alternatives and enjoy our life and never fight. I will do better in all aspects of our life. I am not very good at many things but I will make up for the shortcomings somehow. I have a nightmare that i will lose everything and if I do I can endure or be happy as long as I have Christina.
PIFF showed many different lives in the world. Ours is but a fraudulent utopia scouring the concrete jungle where we live. Lets not become victims of society and just live up to what we desire.
An Event that is probably one of the most popular festivals in Busan if not all of Korea. A venue that was held in Centum City, Haeundae, and Nampo-dong.
The extravaganza kicked off for me following my work last Saturday. I met my gf and we went to Daeyoung Theater in Nampo to see Running with Karma.
I thought this was a good movie. It was about a Korean monk who could see things happen to people in the future. Busan kukjae younghajae is the first and only International Film Festival I have ever been to.
I wanted to make the most of it and was able to watch a grand total of 4 movies.
I saw two of them with my co-worker Mike and one by myself.
November 12-bad Day to go Fishing
November 13th Slovenian Girl
and on the 14th I saw the movie Zero
Its been a week now and I just said goodbye to my darling until next weekend. I got a haircut today in order to make a good wedding photo next week.
Its coming up soon... I will be married in 42 days.
PIFF was a wonderful respite. It was a time to make me see a different side of events and new idea in life.
I started out this week with bad news. I was told that my contract wasn't going to be renewed. I have taught to the best of my ability. I did extra work..Daeyang Company and weekends. I didn't teach as well as my company wanted so as a result fo my ability I am having to move on. I wasn't given much chance to explain my situation, I wasn't helped when I was needed. I feel that 50% of the blame should be on YBM. I served YBM to the best as I could. I never complained about bad hours, poor classes, I asked Andrew my senior teacher for advice, solutions, and was met with it won't work. I feel let down and humilated.
Now its almost Monday again, i will return to a company that has made its intention clear that I am just filling the quota. I can't wait to find a new job.
its sad but true.
Im in a funk now. I am all alone. I don't feel like I have real friends in this place (at least not anymore) I have never been against working in Korea even though its just work work work and there is never a moment to truly appreciate existence. I stay here because of my little drop of heaven.
I never want to give that up. I want us to desperately try new alternatives and enjoy our life and never fight. I will do better in all aspects of our life. I am not very good at many things but I will make up for the shortcomings somehow. I have a nightmare that i will lose everything and if I do I can endure or be happy as long as I have Christina.
PIFF showed many different lives in the world. Ours is but a fraudulent utopia scouring the concrete jungle where we live. Lets not become victims of society and just live up to what we desire.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Forgotten Paths
I am surrounded by a net of confusion, business, and new ideals that have beset me and have made me realize the changing times of my life.
Two years ago I set out on an adventure to get some money set aside, learn a new life about a different culture and branch out in hopes to attain the impossible. I left my University life behind me. A time where I drank with my 3 best friends, went out on the town any night of the week and enjoyed roaming the streets of Missoula Montana. I had friends from everywhere. I met with people I used to run with on a regular basis, foreigners from Asia to Europe and was able to be connected with any of my family at any given moment. I was young and incomplete. I had no money, no vehicle and was in many ways an aimless wanderer.
After spending the better part of two years in Korea I have realized that I went from a carefree individual who had not much to do. I never went shopping, never travelled by bus, taxi, subway or train before never wore a tie or dress pants. I was happy to rebel against the norm I wanted to create my own norm and not become the status quo.
I had many friends in my life things were great and things were normal and now all of that is forgotten.
Its now September and I have completed 8.5 months at YBM. I get up at 5am go to bed after 10 each night. Teaching 6 or more classes per day. I teach children how to spit English on Saturday and when I can i do some extra work on the side. I have to be cautious for 2.5 more months though since I could technically get fired if caught.
I want to build up my resume. I want to find a better job in America and I want to take my wife back home where we can truly be settled in a not so busy society. I want to make her understand not to be afraid and not to think too much about America. SI , Unemployment etc. America is only better because its not bali bali. Go go go society.
I think the pressures of Korea make people miserable here. I don't want to care too much about work or anything. Its important we live in happiness and not worry about societal pressure.
This world has a lot to offer.
its now sunday the 12th and i am waiting for the work week to start so it can end asap. I dont want to deal with the complaints of my co workers this week. Teaching will make me worn out.
I am going to try harder to write more and work harder and better this week.
I can't wait until Saturday!
Two years ago I set out on an adventure to get some money set aside, learn a new life about a different culture and branch out in hopes to attain the impossible. I left my University life behind me. A time where I drank with my 3 best friends, went out on the town any night of the week and enjoyed roaming the streets of Missoula Montana. I had friends from everywhere. I met with people I used to run with on a regular basis, foreigners from Asia to Europe and was able to be connected with any of my family at any given moment. I was young and incomplete. I had no money, no vehicle and was in many ways an aimless wanderer.
After spending the better part of two years in Korea I have realized that I went from a carefree individual who had not much to do. I never went shopping, never travelled by bus, taxi, subway or train before never wore a tie or dress pants. I was happy to rebel against the norm I wanted to create my own norm and not become the status quo.
I had many friends in my life things were great and things were normal and now all of that is forgotten.
Its now September and I have completed 8.5 months at YBM. I get up at 5am go to bed after 10 each night. Teaching 6 or more classes per day. I teach children how to spit English on Saturday and when I can i do some extra work on the side. I have to be cautious for 2.5 more months though since I could technically get fired if caught.
I want to build up my resume. I want to find a better job in America and I want to take my wife back home where we can truly be settled in a not so busy society. I want to make her understand not to be afraid and not to think too much about America. SI , Unemployment etc. America is only better because its not bali bali. Go go go society.
I think the pressures of Korea make people miserable here. I don't want to care too much about work or anything. Its important we live in happiness and not worry about societal pressure.
This world has a lot to offer.
its now sunday the 12th and i am waiting for the work week to start so it can end asap. I dont want to deal with the complaints of my co workers this week. Teaching will make me worn out.
I am going to try harder to write more and work harder and better this week.
I can't wait until Saturday!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Nae Yobo
A day in Daegu~
I went to Daegu in order to spend the afternoon with my gf and her friend. It was an outing that saw us go to an amusement park area, a nice duck restaurant, Krispy Kreme and a walk through downtown Daegu. I wanted to do much more with my gf before returning to YBM and consequently the long hours of work.
I am out of practice with my writing since nowadays I only care about work. I am working 160 hours and maybe I will get some more hours.
I am also involved in some personal private affairs that I can't wait to just finish and get paid. I am hoping time flies between now and November since I am tired of SSDD.
I know that deep down inside I have found the most wonderful woman there is on Earth. Its just a manner of killing time waiting for the uneventful days to finish. I have also felt like i have known her my entire life or from somewhere else.
Why do we worry so much? Why do we have difficulties in communication now when before things seemed to be so easy?
My friends have all gone away unfortunately. They have found new jobs, wallowing in the mire waiting for school or work, or have passed on to something better or at least I hope its better.
Life is too short. Considering everything thats going on all I want is to pave away towards peace and tranquility for my gf and I. I love her family and they don't even understand just how much i will go out on a limb for my future wife. Everyone is so worried about money, and the future that they forget about now.
I am focused just on work. I get up at 5 am. I teach at Sinpyeong, I have 3 morning classes. I eat lunch and then I wait until work again at 7. There is something better right?
i don't want us to be stressed, or worried. I want us to figure out everything and do the right things. OUR way. I have a heartache cause my family and friends are already displaced. Its bothersome not having anyone really seem to care much about whats going on here. I am on the brink of making some major life decisions and everyone just blinks.
no matter what happens I always have your best interests at heart. Give everything a chance and don't rule out anything.
it would be nice if I could see my friends here but I am seriously doubting that.
Here I am its 2:30 almost and I am going to publish this.
______
Its been awhile since i have wrote and I apologize for that. I am hungry and should eat a snack. I will clean a little and then go back to work yeah for me.
I finished the manual today that's good for me!
I have too many other side projects and in 18 days I can enjoy myself more freely.
I can't wait until 11:29 I can sleep
This story isn't very good I know but Its just all of my thoughts scribbled down. Everyone seems to get to enjoy themselves but me. Sometimes I feel this way. I teach cause I have to and I want to teach more cause its the only time that I can do well in my mind. I tend to fall off if I am not working
Lets do more we don't have much time
I was happy to spend a wonderful day in Daegu
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Waiting on Dreams
I promised to write a story today but unfortunately I waited until the last moment. ...
I had a promising weekend. A meeting with my future wife, delicious dinners and lunch, and an outing that showed us a future house and potential new shoes which we can attain at a later date. I dashed from Haeundae to Hadan, from Busan University PNU to YBM and everywhere in between.
My dreams are simple. I dont want to pass life by. I don't want to ask What more could I have done. Tomorrow I will work minimally of 6 hours going to Goejeong and working until 10 at night. I will make sure I do everything I want in between shifts leaving no room for doubt Could I do more?
I am a work a holic and I don't mind. I want to work as much as possible in order to avoid trouble. I am happy and content to marrying my gf she is truly my better half. I just wish we could truly enjoy everything as we should be able to. I am too sensitive I know this to be a fact of life.
I think that I am truly a lucky guy. I found a kind hearted woman who is unfortunately as sensitive and worries as much as me. The future is uncertain but I am happy because I have found a great family and deep down inside I just want to give her the chance to see that my family is as good in different ways through all their faults. I admit it my family has a lot of problems that even myself has a hard time understanding but I do know that my family is the most wonderful people in America and would lend a hand in a heartbeat.
I don't care about anything else now other than persuading my girlfriend of the INFINITE ways and possibilities we have awaiting us. Life isn't finite we don't need to worry our lives away. I am hoping to pave the way to a bright future without continuous worry of jobs, etc.
Let us not waste time on unimportant things but open all doors. Lastly, I want to say that traveling isn't something I really want to do either but I just want to make certain we have a strong foundation in the right place and we shouldn't be afraid to try.
I Love you
I had a promising weekend. A meeting with my future wife, delicious dinners and lunch, and an outing that showed us a future house and potential new shoes which we can attain at a later date. I dashed from Haeundae to Hadan, from Busan University PNU to YBM and everywhere in between.
My dreams are simple. I dont want to pass life by. I don't want to ask What more could I have done. Tomorrow I will work minimally of 6 hours going to Goejeong and working until 10 at night. I will make sure I do everything I want in between shifts leaving no room for doubt Could I do more?
I am a work a holic and I don't mind. I want to work as much as possible in order to avoid trouble. I am happy and content to marrying my gf she is truly my better half. I just wish we could truly enjoy everything as we should be able to. I am too sensitive I know this to be a fact of life.
I think that I am truly a lucky guy. I found a kind hearted woman who is unfortunately as sensitive and worries as much as me. The future is uncertain but I am happy because I have found a great family and deep down inside I just want to give her the chance to see that my family is as good in different ways through all their faults. I admit it my family has a lot of problems that even myself has a hard time understanding but I do know that my family is the most wonderful people in America and would lend a hand in a heartbeat.
I don't care about anything else now other than persuading my girlfriend of the INFINITE ways and possibilities we have awaiting us. Life isn't finite we don't need to worry our lives away. I am hoping to pave the way to a bright future without continuous worry of jobs, etc.
Let us not waste time on unimportant things but open all doors. Lastly, I want to say that traveling isn't something I really want to do either but I just want to make certain we have a strong foundation in the right place and we shouldn't be afraid to try.
I Love you
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Blinded Path
Its the same everyday here...
I am learning a lot more though about myself and in my determination to better myself I am overcoming as many obstacles as I can.
Each day I wake at the crack of dawn around 5 am and am strolling to the subway as casually as I would if I were to wake at a normal time like 9am. I am used to the early light. Its apart of me. I go to Sinpyeong to teach a company English. These workers are very nice, they give me a cup of joe and after speaking for 20-30 minutes I trundle on my way. I take a bus and back to the subway for a 15 minute ride.
Everyone on the subway seems lifeless. I noticed this more after my new coworker mentioned this. No one really acts lively they act like they are headed to doom instead of their jobsite, home, or educational training site. I ponder and reflect about my future whether its my new morning classes, what I will do for the afternoon respite or what I hope to attain for my future.
The morning passes by rather quickly. After teaching I eat lunch with my good friends. They are like my grandparents and they help me out quite a lot. Because of them I will have a better and brighter future with my future wife.
I am confronted with some personal issues. I miss my brother in law. I miss my brother a lot too. Both of them in their own ways offer me so much and I really want to do more for them in my future. My parents are estranged with matters I can't understand and that's life. Sometimes I feel responsible for their estrangement. Maybe If I had been there longer they wouldn't have to care so much about things.
I am the youngest teacher at the Academy. I have the most hours out of everyone and am ambitious for more. I am enjoying my position. I have a wonderful relationship with the head teacher who looks to me now as the liason between the teachers. I have made a great friendship with Michael who is actually almost twice my age and the new teacher I am helping as well.
The korean teachers all help me. they help me with so many things and enjoy talking to me. They look to me when any foreigner talks to them because they can't understand what Michael or Andrew is laughing about so I explain. They give me snacks, advice or help me fix problems but even though I have all of this I feel so alone.
having a family, sharing my life and walking down the path with my darling is all that I want. I am sad because I can't understand why I can't do more, or what I need to do. I live alone and I have lived alone for so long that sometimes I feel I was a bad friend or worse inhumane. maybe I had some bad manners or I have some bad concepts.
Maybe I think too much or maybe I am young as everyone so callously points out but I don't feel young. I strive for so much and will never stop at trying to be perfect or close to perfection as possible.
I told my class that I desired a friendship with everyone and together we can make this planet great. I can see past Korean bullshit or American egotistical thinking. No nation or person or ideology is perfect or better than any other. I have been blinded somewhere though because as naive as my ideas are... Maybe they are meant for a utopian society I still feel they are in grasp.
The place I belong is at my Girls side. I need the rain to hide my tears because there is so much I want to share and do but I am not sure how to do it.
Today my computer failed me, my friends and family all ignored my messages. I know they are busy but still its bothersome. I will keep trying and finding new doors.
As I said I am the youngest in the Academy. I am working 3 jobs. Sinpyeong, YBM and Saturday work. I am happy to have elevated myself to this position. I will do more in the months to follow and possibly I will transfer my work and skills to another Academy.
Living in Busan and making things work out with Christina is truly all I want. I just want our Happiness to reign over our world.
I hope you liked the story and aren't too sad I feel so much for you and I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and just how much I want to take care of you, take you away from a poor situation and be your confidente until I die.
I am learning a lot more though about myself and in my determination to better myself I am overcoming as many obstacles as I can.
Each day I wake at the crack of dawn around 5 am and am strolling to the subway as casually as I would if I were to wake at a normal time like 9am. I am used to the early light. Its apart of me. I go to Sinpyeong to teach a company English. These workers are very nice, they give me a cup of joe and after speaking for 20-30 minutes I trundle on my way. I take a bus and back to the subway for a 15 minute ride.
Everyone on the subway seems lifeless. I noticed this more after my new coworker mentioned this. No one really acts lively they act like they are headed to doom instead of their jobsite, home, or educational training site. I ponder and reflect about my future whether its my new morning classes, what I will do for the afternoon respite or what I hope to attain for my future.
The morning passes by rather quickly. After teaching I eat lunch with my good friends. They are like my grandparents and they help me out quite a lot. Because of them I will have a better and brighter future with my future wife.
I am confronted with some personal issues. I miss my brother in law. I miss my brother a lot too. Both of them in their own ways offer me so much and I really want to do more for them in my future. My parents are estranged with matters I can't understand and that's life. Sometimes I feel responsible for their estrangement. Maybe If I had been there longer they wouldn't have to care so much about things.
I am the youngest teacher at the Academy. I have the most hours out of everyone and am ambitious for more. I am enjoying my position. I have a wonderful relationship with the head teacher who looks to me now as the liason between the teachers. I have made a great friendship with Michael who is actually almost twice my age and the new teacher I am helping as well.
The korean teachers all help me. they help me with so many things and enjoy talking to me. They look to me when any foreigner talks to them because they can't understand what Michael or Andrew is laughing about so I explain. They give me snacks, advice or help me fix problems but even though I have all of this I feel so alone.
having a family, sharing my life and walking down the path with my darling is all that I want. I am sad because I can't understand why I can't do more, or what I need to do. I live alone and I have lived alone for so long that sometimes I feel I was a bad friend or worse inhumane. maybe I had some bad manners or I have some bad concepts.
Maybe I think too much or maybe I am young as everyone so callously points out but I don't feel young. I strive for so much and will never stop at trying to be perfect or close to perfection as possible.
I told my class that I desired a friendship with everyone and together we can make this planet great. I can see past Korean bullshit or American egotistical thinking. No nation or person or ideology is perfect or better than any other. I have been blinded somewhere though because as naive as my ideas are... Maybe they are meant for a utopian society I still feel they are in grasp.
The place I belong is at my Girls side. I need the rain to hide my tears because there is so much I want to share and do but I am not sure how to do it.
Today my computer failed me, my friends and family all ignored my messages. I know they are busy but still its bothersome. I will keep trying and finding new doors.
As I said I am the youngest in the Academy. I am working 3 jobs. Sinpyeong, YBM and Saturday work. I am happy to have elevated myself to this position. I will do more in the months to follow and possibly I will transfer my work and skills to another Academy.
Living in Busan and making things work out with Christina is truly all I want. I just want our Happiness to reign over our world.
I hope you liked the story and aren't too sad I feel so much for you and I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and just how much I want to take care of you, take you away from a poor situation and be your confidente until I die.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Sonya
I spent this Sunday with my darling here in Busan. It was unfortunately too quick as always. Time always goes way to fast and I want it back so much...
I shared a nice meal with my babe in PNU where I do hope we can go back to school and enjoy more University life together. Its a bustling campus where there seems to be a lot of things to do as well as many exciting things that we can try soon.
I saw her brother for a brief time and after leaving we went to Hyundae Beach.
Hyundae Beach as always is very beautiful. It was the Sand Festival right now and we were able to see beautiful sculptures. It was a very hot and sunny day.
I think of marriage so much. As Christina said I think about marriage 90% of the time. I am really serious now. I may only be 24 in American age but I do want to do so much more than most people my age and in general most people. My aspiration is to be married after I turn 25 and have a family before I turn 28. I am considering working in Korea for longer than 3 years but so far I have a commitment to myself for 3 years.
I know that things are hard. I regret wasting a lot of money on frivolous things. maybe if I hadn't I could have gotten married sooner. I think I lost the meaning of love when I was in my university. I turned my back on the word and actually was looking for it in all the wrong places.
I met a sonya that changed all of that. I never ever experienced love so deeply. i never ever can lose it and nothing could ever fill the big gap that exists in my heart. i am a walking zombie that chants WORK WORK WORK and thats all I want. I want to give her father a present that would enable him to forget my age, country etc.
Maybe I am crazy but I do desire more and to make things better.
I am a little confused too right now. I am going through some harsh doses of reality pertaining to my friendships. I am losing them everybody is running off and getting married back in America or off on adventures of their own and losing in touch with me.
My family is out on a limb and I am truly left alone for everything that I need or want. I never want my babe to be alone. My love is truly deeper than my life
Its Sunday and tomorrow is june. I have two more days of this session, 5 more days of work and 6 more days until I can hold my baby and I truly never ever want to let her go. I just want to make things work no matter what the cost. I feel guilty for leaving America and my family to overcome their problems on their own and I am now in the middle of a wonderful family that i want to be apart of and do as much as I can for. I want to change my job, and do anything I can for her and her family. my brother in law my sister in law, and my mother/father in law.
I love them so much and Want to do more than now
I shared a nice meal with my babe in PNU where I do hope we can go back to school and enjoy more University life together. Its a bustling campus where there seems to be a lot of things to do as well as many exciting things that we can try soon.
I saw her brother for a brief time and after leaving we went to Hyundae Beach.
Hyundae Beach as always is very beautiful. It was the Sand Festival right now and we were able to see beautiful sculptures. It was a very hot and sunny day.
I think of marriage so much. As Christina said I think about marriage 90% of the time. I am really serious now. I may only be 24 in American age but I do want to do so much more than most people my age and in general most people. My aspiration is to be married after I turn 25 and have a family before I turn 28. I am considering working in Korea for longer than 3 years but so far I have a commitment to myself for 3 years.
I know that things are hard. I regret wasting a lot of money on frivolous things. maybe if I hadn't I could have gotten married sooner. I think I lost the meaning of love when I was in my university. I turned my back on the word and actually was looking for it in all the wrong places.
I met a sonya that changed all of that. I never ever experienced love so deeply. i never ever can lose it and nothing could ever fill the big gap that exists in my heart. i am a walking zombie that chants WORK WORK WORK and thats all I want. I want to give her father a present that would enable him to forget my age, country etc.
Maybe I am crazy but I do desire more and to make things better.
I am a little confused too right now. I am going through some harsh doses of reality pertaining to my friendships. I am losing them everybody is running off and getting married back in America or off on adventures of their own and losing in touch with me.
My family is out on a limb and I am truly left alone for everything that I need or want. I never want my babe to be alone. My love is truly deeper than my life
Its Sunday and tomorrow is june. I have two more days of this session, 5 more days of work and 6 more days until I can hold my baby and I truly never ever want to let her go. I just want to make things work no matter what the cost. I feel guilty for leaving America and my family to overcome their problems on their own and I am now in the middle of a wonderful family that i want to be apart of and do as much as I can for. I want to change my job, and do anything I can for her and her family. my brother in law my sister in law, and my mother/father in law.
I love them so much and Want to do more than now
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Workers Mold
i have just finished working the month of May...I had a five day holiday to begin the month and every Sunday off. I worked 152 hours that will finish on the 2nd of June that also marks the end of the session. I worked 32 hours on the Saturdays. I am sure I had the most hours out of all the Foreign Teachers. I am working hard to establish myself as a forerunner for better things to come.
My boss thinks I am setting the bar to high and that I am a work-aholic. He wants me to take a month off from working the Saturdays. I am not really wanting to since I feel desperate to make ends meet. I am wanting to work more and would love it if I had 12 hours a day. I like YBM but lately I am a little enraged at their methodology.
Registration pleading is making me feel insane. They care more about the precious enrollment than the supplies, equipment and the teachers well being. I am tired of hearing of my small pitfalls or mistakes and listening to the mercy of a corporate regime talk only about the Company money. Give me a break.
The teaching of English is done for the sole purpose of Business profit and engineering. I am not going to stand for that. I don't talk to Korean students as a business perspective, I am here for the students and will give them the tools that they need for their English skills and not the business hypocrisy that a Corporation stands for.
Are we businessmen or true educators hoping to create a better communion in the world?
I am for the latter and will continue to be cavalier and strident in my ways in my path towards making a brighter future for me and my darling.
I picture me in a job where I am bringing home 3-3.5 million a month and improving my skill for a company down the road or maybe working back in Gumi even though I know that Busan can be a gateway for our dreams.
I have more to say but I want to write longer tomorrow
My boss thinks I am setting the bar to high and that I am a work-aholic. He wants me to take a month off from working the Saturdays. I am not really wanting to since I feel desperate to make ends meet. I am wanting to work more and would love it if I had 12 hours a day. I like YBM but lately I am a little enraged at their methodology.
Registration pleading is making me feel insane. They care more about the precious enrollment than the supplies, equipment and the teachers well being. I am tired of hearing of my small pitfalls or mistakes and listening to the mercy of a corporate regime talk only about the Company money. Give me a break.
The teaching of English is done for the sole purpose of Business profit and engineering. I am not going to stand for that. I don't talk to Korean students as a business perspective, I am here for the students and will give them the tools that they need for their English skills and not the business hypocrisy that a Corporation stands for.
Are we businessmen or true educators hoping to create a better communion in the world?
I am for the latter and will continue to be cavalier and strident in my ways in my path towards making a brighter future for me and my darling.
I picture me in a job where I am bringing home 3-3.5 million a month and improving my skill for a company down the road or maybe working back in Gumi even though I know that Busan can be a gateway for our dreams.
I have more to say but I want to write longer tomorrow
Monday, May 25, 2009
Lifes Simplicity
Why is Life being made out to be so difficult?
i am doing my job to the utmost of my ability. Its simple. I am supposed to go teach my 6 classes per day and get paid for that hour. I have to dress up in some sort of professional demeanor and show up on time as well as abide by all of the policies that are outlined in either my contract or school policy.
Life is throwing all sorts of roadblocks in my way. Professionally, Personally, and psychologically. Sometimes I feel I am caving in due to the unneeded demands from society. I am already getting up early and staying up late. While its true I enjoy a 5-7 hour window I don't consider this a real break.
My job has called me in the middle of the afternoon asking for trivial things from keys to paperwork. They have invaded my house without asking by handing out an unauthorized spare key. They find faults at times when there really is no fault to be given.
Regardless I am content. I have an offering in Sinpyeong that helps me save more money and I am having some bonus time on the weekends. I am anxiously looking forward to next session.
I am on a course now to enjoy the rest of my life with the woman I love. We are fated to be together because we have stuck together through thick and thin. My heart is swollen from a 4 month vacation that left me confronted with more problems than the entire 14 months I stayed in Gumi.
Money is always going to be important. I am angry my friends in the past have backstabbed me thus far. Refusing to send an email or a phone call. People back home seem to be wallowing in the mire endowed in self pity and frankly speaking I am tired of it.
I don't particularly enjoy getting up at 5 am nor do I like 8 hours on Saturday but it pays the bills and is the bricks to my future so I am willing and don't care at all sincerely. It actually makes me happier to keep myself busy with many tasks in the days/weeks/months to follow.
I have a lot of things on my mind-School, career, kids, America but I have seen that life is really simple and the love I have now is pure and true and it will hold me steadfast even as I stand wavering against the odds.
i am doing my job to the utmost of my ability. Its simple. I am supposed to go teach my 6 classes per day and get paid for that hour. I have to dress up in some sort of professional demeanor and show up on time as well as abide by all of the policies that are outlined in either my contract or school policy.
Life is throwing all sorts of roadblocks in my way. Professionally, Personally, and psychologically. Sometimes I feel I am caving in due to the unneeded demands from society. I am already getting up early and staying up late. While its true I enjoy a 5-7 hour window I don't consider this a real break.
My job has called me in the middle of the afternoon asking for trivial things from keys to paperwork. They have invaded my house without asking by handing out an unauthorized spare key. They find faults at times when there really is no fault to be given.
Regardless I am content. I have an offering in Sinpyeong that helps me save more money and I am having some bonus time on the weekends. I am anxiously looking forward to next session.
I am on a course now to enjoy the rest of my life with the woman I love. We are fated to be together because we have stuck together through thick and thin. My heart is swollen from a 4 month vacation that left me confronted with more problems than the entire 14 months I stayed in Gumi.
Money is always going to be important. I am angry my friends in the past have backstabbed me thus far. Refusing to send an email or a phone call. People back home seem to be wallowing in the mire endowed in self pity and frankly speaking I am tired of it.
I don't particularly enjoy getting up at 5 am nor do I like 8 hours on Saturday but it pays the bills and is the bricks to my future so I am willing and don't care at all sincerely. It actually makes me happier to keep myself busy with many tasks in the days/weeks/months to follow.
I have a lot of things on my mind-School, career, kids, America but I have seen that life is really simple and the love I have now is pure and true and it will hold me steadfast even as I stand wavering against the odds.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Family Life
So here i sit... I have become a bearded Norwegian dweller awaiting the fate that tomorrow will bring. My hair is getting long and curly and I have just finished the closure of another busy week and a fun weekend. I was sop happy to run to my darling last night and share a walk thru downtown Namp-dong. Unfortunately there isn't much to do here in this district but at least I was able to be with here. The days are hollowed alone and away from her.
I have the makings of everything great in my life. A job that is supplying me with many golden opportunities. I am getting OT pay, I am working at a company job, and I also am teaching lame high school students who need to show proper manners and overcome the idea of poor me and try to study even though its saturday. I worked 38 hours this week and will do so again starting tomorrow.
When I am with my gf I feel like a caring husband and a man wanting to become a devoted father. I have a job and I am going to find some way to pursue my education more. I wrote a professor of mine last week and am waiting for his reply. I am hoping he can bring me some good news since I am shot down at other twists and turns in my life.
There are plenty of answers around me and just waiting to be opened. The gate of tomorrow is lit with lights of opportunity.
I sit here wondering what I am waiting for, what I am trying to write as well as to who. Is this just for myself or am I trying to make a difference in someone else's life. I am not sure.
Tomorrow will begin a new day and a start to a new week with more opportunities.
I am hoping to embark on a journey that starts at 545 in the subways to get my life focus back on track.
there is nothing greater than family and my family I can start is what makes my heart stay afloat.
I have the makings of everything great in my life. A job that is supplying me with many golden opportunities. I am getting OT pay, I am working at a company job, and I also am teaching lame high school students who need to show proper manners and overcome the idea of poor me and try to study even though its saturday. I worked 38 hours this week and will do so again starting tomorrow.
When I am with my gf I feel like a caring husband and a man wanting to become a devoted father. I have a job and I am going to find some way to pursue my education more. I wrote a professor of mine last week and am waiting for his reply. I am hoping he can bring me some good news since I am shot down at other twists and turns in my life.
There are plenty of answers around me and just waiting to be opened. The gate of tomorrow is lit with lights of opportunity.
I sit here wondering what I am waiting for, what I am trying to write as well as to who. Is this just for myself or am I trying to make a difference in someone else's life. I am not sure.
Tomorrow will begin a new day and a start to a new week with more opportunities.
I am hoping to embark on a journey that starts at 545 in the subways to get my life focus back on track.
there is nothing greater than family and my family I can start is what makes my heart stay afloat.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Noon Plight
This week has brought bad fortunes due to my contact lens. I am now wearing my glasses and paying a doctor fee of 3000won per day. I need to go there from 9am until nearly 10 in order to get examined.
The only good thing about this are twofold. One, I am giving my eyes some rest by wearing my glasses all week and secondly, I am opening my eyes to newer possibilities. I will wear my glassses once or twice a week after my eyes have officially healed.
Walking to the store to buy some groceries today lead me straight into the Jagalchi market. I want to explore this place more but sadly I refuse to do anything without my girlfriend. She is a big part of my life and the adventures that I can have here are truly meant for just her and I or myself alone.
I will write more about travel experiences and hopefully can find a working camera soon. I am disappointed because I have to wait for another month before I can finish my savings plan on account of a miscommunication.
I can't see well right now because of my eyesight nor can I communicate with commoners who see English as a threat. I wanted to transfer money and when I showed them what I wanted the woman was very confused and as a result made a huge mistake by transferring into the wrong account. I was so pissed.
I have a lot of pressure and stress mostly of which I put on myself but it bothers me that I am in this all alone.
Its now a Thursday. I want it to be next week so badly so i can start anew. I am awaiting news on my classes and trying to just keep myself busy.
Work isn't going as well as I would like it right now I am bogged down with trivial errands and can't wait to start a new session. This session my hours will be over 150 though!
I will write more soon but I need to get ready to go back to work.
The only good thing about this are twofold. One, I am giving my eyes some rest by wearing my glasses all week and secondly, I am opening my eyes to newer possibilities. I will wear my glassses once or twice a week after my eyes have officially healed.
Walking to the store to buy some groceries today lead me straight into the Jagalchi market. I want to explore this place more but sadly I refuse to do anything without my girlfriend. She is a big part of my life and the adventures that I can have here are truly meant for just her and I or myself alone.
I will write more about travel experiences and hopefully can find a working camera soon. I am disappointed because I have to wait for another month before I can finish my savings plan on account of a miscommunication.
I can't see well right now because of my eyesight nor can I communicate with commoners who see English as a threat. I wanted to transfer money and when I showed them what I wanted the woman was very confused and as a result made a huge mistake by transferring into the wrong account. I was so pissed.
I have a lot of pressure and stress mostly of which I put on myself but it bothers me that I am in this all alone.
Its now a Thursday. I want it to be next week so badly so i can start anew. I am awaiting news on my classes and trying to just keep myself busy.
Work isn't going as well as I would like it right now I am bogged down with trivial errands and can't wait to start a new session. This session my hours will be over 150 though!
I will write more soon but I need to get ready to go back to work.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
SangSa Byung
I just finished a long weekend. I made a mistake in my first post and will correct it here with an updated version....
First, I have a total of 156 hours of work this month. I wish I had more but by my figures this will still be a lot of Overtime. I am happy about this a lot.
My experience in Korea has brought me to some crossroads in my life now. SangSa means to be lovesick. Today is Sunday May 10th and I have many things to do this month.
Lovesickness is an awful thing. I am combating it everyday and am learning how to endure it. I often times miss my family, friends, America, or just my life in Missoula where everything was truly simple. People who are now fusspots and brooding over things are strange to me. My time in Missoula was often spent listening to social gossip. Here in Asia I am coming across real problems and trying to manage how to deal with these difficulties.
I am head over heels in Love with my gf. My family is leagues away and while it hurts sometimes I have grown accustomed to making ends meet outside the home. For the better part of 6 years I have been living on my own. It hard to believe I have been out of college for almost 2 years now to the date. I need to stay on track and get focused more because what I truly want is to make a stable career venture going.
My girlfriend just left today and I won't see her for awhile yet. Its the worst feeling in the world, going to sleep at night alone, eating and not talking to anyone in the house because I am always at work and I have no one else here but I want to sacrifice so much in order to make this work.
Meeting her family has been the best thing to happen to me since coming back. I can't understand why Korean fathers are so strict. If he could just understand us more everything could be better. I am not going to become richer anytime in this year but all I can hope is that I can climb the YBM company ladder.
MY Sangsa can be controlled and I can endure but I know I can't live without my honey that's for sure.
It would bring me great pleasure if my family could meet her and see the wonders we have in our life.
I have 21 days of May left and in this time I need to write more, study Korean, and work a lot more hours.
I will record an experience as often as I can.
First, I have a total of 156 hours of work this month. I wish I had more but by my figures this will still be a lot of Overtime. I am happy about this a lot.
My experience in Korea has brought me to some crossroads in my life now. SangSa means to be lovesick. Today is Sunday May 10th and I have many things to do this month.
Lovesickness is an awful thing. I am combating it everyday and am learning how to endure it. I often times miss my family, friends, America, or just my life in Missoula where everything was truly simple. People who are now fusspots and brooding over things are strange to me. My time in Missoula was often spent listening to social gossip. Here in Asia I am coming across real problems and trying to manage how to deal with these difficulties.
I am head over heels in Love with my gf. My family is leagues away and while it hurts sometimes I have grown accustomed to making ends meet outside the home. For the better part of 6 years I have been living on my own. It hard to believe I have been out of college for almost 2 years now to the date. I need to stay on track and get focused more because what I truly want is to make a stable career venture going.
My girlfriend just left today and I won't see her for awhile yet. Its the worst feeling in the world, going to sleep at night alone, eating and not talking to anyone in the house because I am always at work and I have no one else here but I want to sacrifice so much in order to make this work.
Meeting her family has been the best thing to happen to me since coming back. I can't understand why Korean fathers are so strict. If he could just understand us more everything could be better. I am not going to become richer anytime in this year but all I can hope is that I can climb the YBM company ladder.
MY Sangsa can be controlled and I can endure but I know I can't live without my honey that's for sure.
It would bring me great pleasure if my family could meet her and see the wonders we have in our life.
I have 21 days of May left and in this time I need to write more, study Korean, and work a lot more hours.
I will record an experience as often as I can.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Behind the Scenes
This is an introductory blog to tell you a little bit about myself. Its currently 10pm on May 8th in my humble abode in Busan Korea.
I am working in what is now my 5th month at YBM-an adult ELS Academy program and one of the premier teaching programs in Korea. Its a corporate chain that at the moment I am glad to be apart of minus all of the corporate bullshit.
This month I have so much work to do its amazing, and almost unbelievable but I am happy. I can make huge dividends that may pay off later for my blessed future.
I am a working man and a workaholic this month. I am working in Sinpyeong at an offsite location where I meet company businessmen for an hour drink coffee say a little pleasantries and walk out the door.
I go to YBM where I am teaching 6 classes Hot Topics, Level 3's and a level 4 and 2.
I am working on Saturday teaching 4 classes of High schoolers, and now I will also teach 4 hours of adult classes. i hope for more but maybe I need to be careful with what I wish for. I didn't work so much last month.
I have over 30 students!
Last month I had 6 classes which included my Sinpyeong trip, 4 high school classes and only 14 students if that.
I am hoping to continue racking up astronomical amounts of hours!
I have 20hrs at Sinpyeong 120 in YBM 16 for high school and 16 for Adults =32 hours on Saturday!
total=172 hours
Go Go Go... I need to go to bed and get some Zs for more crazy time in room 504 I can't wait until I can teach more and more effectively soon
pictures to come as soon as possible
I am working in what is now my 5th month at YBM-an adult ELS Academy program and one of the premier teaching programs in Korea. Its a corporate chain that at the moment I am glad to be apart of minus all of the corporate bullshit.
This month I have so much work to do its amazing, and almost unbelievable but I am happy. I can make huge dividends that may pay off later for my blessed future.
I am a working man and a workaholic this month. I am working in Sinpyeong at an offsite location where I meet company businessmen for an hour drink coffee say a little pleasantries and walk out the door.
I go to YBM where I am teaching 6 classes Hot Topics, Level 3's and a level 4 and 2.
I am working on Saturday teaching 4 classes of High schoolers, and now I will also teach 4 hours of adult classes. i hope for more but maybe I need to be careful with what I wish for. I didn't work so much last month.
I have over 30 students!
Last month I had 6 classes which included my Sinpyeong trip, 4 high school classes and only 14 students if that.
I am hoping to continue racking up astronomical amounts of hours!
I have 20hrs at Sinpyeong 120 in YBM 16 for high school and 16 for Adults =32 hours on Saturday!
total=172 hours
Go Go Go... I need to go to bed and get some Zs for more crazy time in room 504 I can't wait until I can teach more and more effectively soon
pictures to come as soon as possible
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