Blinded Path

Its the same everyday here...

I am learning a lot more though about myself and in my determination to better myself I am overcoming as many obstacles as I can.

Each day I wake at the crack of dawn around 5 am and am strolling to the subway as casually as I would if I were to wake at a normal time like 9am. I am used to the early light. Its apart of me. I go to Sinpyeong to teach a company English. These workers are very nice, they give me a cup of joe and after speaking for 20-30 minutes I trundle on my way. I take a bus and back to the subway for a 15 minute ride.

Everyone on the subway seems lifeless. I noticed this more after my new coworker mentioned this. No one really acts lively they act like they are headed to doom instead of their jobsite, home, or educational training site. I ponder and reflect about my future whether its my new morning classes, what I will do for the afternoon respite or what I hope to attain for my future.


The morning passes by rather quickly. After teaching I eat lunch with my good friends. They are like my grandparents and they help me out quite a lot. Because of them I will have a better and brighter future with my future wife.


I am confronted with some personal issues. I miss my brother in law. I miss my brother a lot too. Both of them in their own ways offer me so much and I really want to do more for them in my future. My parents are estranged with matters I can't understand and that's life. Sometimes I feel responsible for their estrangement. Maybe If I had been there longer they wouldn't have to care so much about things.



I am the youngest teacher at the Academy. I have the most hours out of everyone and am ambitious for more. I am enjoying my position. I have a wonderful relationship with the head teacher who looks to me now as the liason between the teachers. I have made a great friendship with Michael who is actually almost twice my age and the new teacher I am helping as well.

The korean teachers all help me. they help me with so many things and enjoy talking to me. They look to me when any foreigner talks to them because they can't understand what Michael or Andrew is laughing about so I explain. They give me snacks, advice or help me fix problems but even though I have all of this I feel so alone.


having a family, sharing my life and walking down the path with my darling is all that I want. I am sad because I can't understand why I can't do more, or what I need to do. I live alone and I have lived alone for so long that sometimes I feel I was a bad friend or worse inhumane. maybe I had some bad manners or I have some bad concepts.

Maybe I think too much or maybe I am young as everyone so callously points out but I don't feel young. I strive for so much and will never stop at trying to be perfect or close to perfection as possible.

I told my class that I desired a friendship with everyone and together we can make this planet great. I can see past Korean bullshit or American egotistical thinking. No nation or person or ideology is perfect or better than any other. I have been blinded somewhere though because as naive as my ideas are... Maybe they are meant for a utopian society I still feel they are in grasp.


The place I belong is at my Girls side. I need the rain to hide my tears because there is so much I want to share and do but I am not sure how to do it.

Today my computer failed me, my friends and family all ignored my messages. I know they are busy but still its bothersome. I will keep trying and finding new doors.

As I said I am the youngest in the Academy. I am working 3 jobs. Sinpyeong, YBM and Saturday work. I am happy to have elevated myself to this position. I will do more in the months to follow and possibly I will transfer my work and skills to another Academy.

Living in Busan and making things work out with Christina is truly all I want. I just want our Happiness to reign over our world.

I hope you liked the story and aren't too sad I feel so much for you and I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and just how much I want to take care of you, take you away from a poor situation and be your confidente until I die.