The end of the week and the end of my working week. Here is a small list of ironies.
1. Its ironic that this is the worst job for me (at least I feel this way).
-Its the first job that I have had that ends on Friday (no weekends)
YBM and YALE I both worked Saturdays
- The pay is the highest for me.
-The hours are the shortest.
I can't understand why some people work more hours at jobs much more intelligent than mine and make only half the price.
Today I got up and was still tired after not being able to sleep a wink last night. I had a quick lunch and was out the door before 12.
I went to Yeonsan the place I work 4 times during the week. Today was just as confusing and disorganized as always.
I had 4 classes with my Substitute teacher. The other one had an emergency in VANCOUVER of all places.
I taught a class for the first time. The youngest kids: MY lesson plan JKL on the spot.
Class whats this: J okay good Can you say JET... I wanted to shoot myself after 50 minutes.
After doing the next 3 classes I was ready for a break. This teacher is nice and great to work with. She even taught a little bit during my class time.
BIGGEST IRONY...
SHe is getting paid to sit there and watch me teach I am paid my salary regardless of the amount of teaching that I officially do. I just need to show up. Its not fair in my opinion if I get paid to teach and she gets paid to watch. The teaching should be equal.
I left work without getting a heads up on the week to come. This next week will be early in the morning. I think that it should be a lot of fun and I am actually looking forward to it. I hope a lot of kids dont show up and make my teaching days a lot easier.
After work my wife and I walked along the ONCHEONCHEON RIVER and had a cheese snack with Vegetable Soy milk drink for our energy. It was a little cold but otherwise good day. We walked for maybe 1 hour until we made our way home to Beef Soup.
Its Friday night and I am happy cause I want to rest and relax tomorrow!
I hope something exciting happens
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Reflections
Here I am again... I am sitting in an airport (Incheon International) and about ready to go back home for the second time in two years. I haven't written a lot in quite awhile because way back in October my life got interesting...
Here is a summary of the year 2009
I started a new job in January. YBM ELS an Adult Academy in nampo-dong Busan. BUSAN DYNAMIC MEGACITY a home to 4.3 million Koreans is a wonderful place to live, work and travel.
Nampo-dong is one of the biggest centers in Busan. Its location is subway metro line 1 stop 111
I taught an afternoon program involving kids and hated it. I wasn't interested in returning to the glory Gumi days of yelling at the youth.
February was a good time i worked an extra weekend and earned 75 extra dollars, I learned more about YBM and felt really respected. Geoffrey left at the end of this month and after finishing this month Andrew my new boss came.
March-December
I worked at DAEYANG Company an offsite teaching position located in SAHA-GU. I was paid 350 per month while YBM was given 2.0million won. These company workers were tired, boring and often late if they didn't come at all.
I also taught screaming kids again. I worked every Saturday including a few months were I had more than the allotted 4 hours for kids. I had 6 hours or even 8 hours.
I also did some private work for a fellow teacher. I enjoyed working with her because of her easygoing nature.
In August I worked 168 hours for my company and I had close to 20 hours of additional work
In October Piff happened. Pusan International Film Festival. The biggest even in Busan--I attended 4 movies.
November 29th- I got married. I went to Gumi and married Kim Eun Ju. The biggest and most famous person from Sangju. Where is that?
She and I lived in my one room studio for a month before moving to our new apartment located in Gwangan a busy district in Busan and popular with tourists because of the beach.
December came and went...My company cut me after completing my year contract
HERE is my feelings about this....
I worked a year and agreed to 1 year. I changed my mind about my attitude of work. I agreed to teach kids, work all hours, and do anything without complaining. I wanted fair chances to improve my teaching and continue working there.
In March I had an observation and was insulted by a man who judged my character and not my teaching. I couldn't have a rational talk with him and when i asked my boss to help me I got the cold shoulder. When i had some problems no one would fix it. Its the job of the company to fix the teachers complaints but instead of helping me they made me the problem.
YBM let me down the long and the short of it. I wanted to do more for myself, for YBM and ultimately stay there longer. I need more time in this job field but going through appropriate channels didn't help.
Showing Facts didn't help
Many students complained about my teaching but my company refused to hear the positives. i taught an after-school program in the afternoons twice for a woman who loved my work and she loved all the work I did for her on Saturday (43 times) Students took me out for lunch or dinner or coffee too many times to count. i was given presents many times.
The last present I was given was from a man who later turned out to be a big baby when i asked him to keep the conversation appropriate. I lost students because of other students like him (men who won't shut up because they are older or oldest) I hate that part of Korean society the self righteous old fart who thinks he is so god damned important. Its truly backwards.
korea is a little mixed up to me. Example, I went to Centum City a very developed, modern age city with computers, departments and everything in digital form and 2 hours later I went to a district with old women pushing carts down the street carrying groceries. How can the government not develop the city equally? Sounds like bullshit to me.
Its 2pm I will be home today at this time tomorrow I can say I was already here yesterday
And the cycle continues i will be coming back to Korea again hopefully for the last time to work teaching kids and enjoy my newapartment.
my new apartment is below my brother in laws house. Its should be fun
I will write a new blog again soon i hope
Here is a summary of the year 2009
I started a new job in January. YBM ELS an Adult Academy in nampo-dong Busan. BUSAN DYNAMIC MEGACITY a home to 4.3 million Koreans is a wonderful place to live, work and travel.
Nampo-dong is one of the biggest centers in Busan. Its location is subway metro line 1 stop 111
I taught an afternoon program involving kids and hated it. I wasn't interested in returning to the glory Gumi days of yelling at the youth.
February was a good time i worked an extra weekend and earned 75 extra dollars, I learned more about YBM and felt really respected. Geoffrey left at the end of this month and after finishing this month Andrew my new boss came.
March-December
I worked at DAEYANG Company an offsite teaching position located in SAHA-GU. I was paid 350 per month while YBM was given 2.0million won. These company workers were tired, boring and often late if they didn't come at all.
I also taught screaming kids again. I worked every Saturday including a few months were I had more than the allotted 4 hours for kids. I had 6 hours or even 8 hours.
I also did some private work for a fellow teacher. I enjoyed working with her because of her easygoing nature.
In August I worked 168 hours for my company and I had close to 20 hours of additional work
In October Piff happened. Pusan International Film Festival. The biggest even in Busan--I attended 4 movies.
November 29th- I got married. I went to Gumi and married Kim Eun Ju. The biggest and most famous person from Sangju. Where is that?
She and I lived in my one room studio for a month before moving to our new apartment located in Gwangan a busy district in Busan and popular with tourists because of the beach.
December came and went...My company cut me after completing my year contract
HERE is my feelings about this....
I worked a year and agreed to 1 year. I changed my mind about my attitude of work. I agreed to teach kids, work all hours, and do anything without complaining. I wanted fair chances to improve my teaching and continue working there.
In March I had an observation and was insulted by a man who judged my character and not my teaching. I couldn't have a rational talk with him and when i asked my boss to help me I got the cold shoulder. When i had some problems no one would fix it. Its the job of the company to fix the teachers complaints but instead of helping me they made me the problem.
YBM let me down the long and the short of it. I wanted to do more for myself, for YBM and ultimately stay there longer. I need more time in this job field but going through appropriate channels didn't help.
Showing Facts didn't help
Many students complained about my teaching but my company refused to hear the positives. i taught an after-school program in the afternoons twice for a woman who loved my work and she loved all the work I did for her on Saturday (43 times) Students took me out for lunch or dinner or coffee too many times to count. i was given presents many times.
The last present I was given was from a man who later turned out to be a big baby when i asked him to keep the conversation appropriate. I lost students because of other students like him (men who won't shut up because they are older or oldest) I hate that part of Korean society the self righteous old fart who thinks he is so god damned important. Its truly backwards.
korea is a little mixed up to me. Example, I went to Centum City a very developed, modern age city with computers, departments and everything in digital form and 2 hours later I went to a district with old women pushing carts down the street carrying groceries. How can the government not develop the city equally? Sounds like bullshit to me.
Its 2pm I will be home today at this time tomorrow I can say I was already here yesterday
And the cycle continues i will be coming back to Korea again hopefully for the last time to work teaching kids and enjoy my newapartment.
my new apartment is below my brother in laws house. Its should be fun
I will write a new blog again soon i hope
Sunday, October 18, 2009
PIFF
November 8th through the 16th
An Event that is probably one of the most popular festivals in Busan if not all of Korea. A venue that was held in Centum City, Haeundae, and Nampo-dong.
The extravaganza kicked off for me following my work last Saturday. I met my gf and we went to Daeyoung Theater in Nampo to see Running with Karma.
I thought this was a good movie. It was about a Korean monk who could see things happen to people in the future. Busan kukjae younghajae is the first and only International Film Festival I have ever been to.
I wanted to make the most of it and was able to watch a grand total of 4 movies.
I saw two of them with my co-worker Mike and one by myself.
November 12-bad Day to go Fishing
November 13th Slovenian Girl
and on the 14th I saw the movie Zero
Its been a week now and I just said goodbye to my darling until next weekend. I got a haircut today in order to make a good wedding photo next week.
Its coming up soon... I will be married in 42 days.
PIFF was a wonderful respite. It was a time to make me see a different side of events and new idea in life.
I started out this week with bad news. I was told that my contract wasn't going to be renewed. I have taught to the best of my ability. I did extra work..Daeyang Company and weekends. I didn't teach as well as my company wanted so as a result fo my ability I am having to move on. I wasn't given much chance to explain my situation, I wasn't helped when I was needed. I feel that 50% of the blame should be on YBM. I served YBM to the best as I could. I never complained about bad hours, poor classes, I asked Andrew my senior teacher for advice, solutions, and was met with it won't work. I feel let down and humilated.
Now its almost Monday again, i will return to a company that has made its intention clear that I am just filling the quota. I can't wait to find a new job.
its sad but true.
Im in a funk now. I am all alone. I don't feel like I have real friends in this place (at least not anymore) I have never been against working in Korea even though its just work work work and there is never a moment to truly appreciate existence. I stay here because of my little drop of heaven.
I never want to give that up. I want us to desperately try new alternatives and enjoy our life and never fight. I will do better in all aspects of our life. I am not very good at many things but I will make up for the shortcomings somehow. I have a nightmare that i will lose everything and if I do I can endure or be happy as long as I have Christina.
PIFF showed many different lives in the world. Ours is but a fraudulent utopia scouring the concrete jungle where we live. Lets not become victims of society and just live up to what we desire.
An Event that is probably one of the most popular festivals in Busan if not all of Korea. A venue that was held in Centum City, Haeundae, and Nampo-dong.
The extravaganza kicked off for me following my work last Saturday. I met my gf and we went to Daeyoung Theater in Nampo to see Running with Karma.
I thought this was a good movie. It was about a Korean monk who could see things happen to people in the future. Busan kukjae younghajae is the first and only International Film Festival I have ever been to.
I wanted to make the most of it and was able to watch a grand total of 4 movies.
I saw two of them with my co-worker Mike and one by myself.
November 12-bad Day to go Fishing
November 13th Slovenian Girl
and on the 14th I saw the movie Zero
Its been a week now and I just said goodbye to my darling until next weekend. I got a haircut today in order to make a good wedding photo next week.
Its coming up soon... I will be married in 42 days.
PIFF was a wonderful respite. It was a time to make me see a different side of events and new idea in life.
I started out this week with bad news. I was told that my contract wasn't going to be renewed. I have taught to the best of my ability. I did extra work..Daeyang Company and weekends. I didn't teach as well as my company wanted so as a result fo my ability I am having to move on. I wasn't given much chance to explain my situation, I wasn't helped when I was needed. I feel that 50% of the blame should be on YBM. I served YBM to the best as I could. I never complained about bad hours, poor classes, I asked Andrew my senior teacher for advice, solutions, and was met with it won't work. I feel let down and humilated.
Now its almost Monday again, i will return to a company that has made its intention clear that I am just filling the quota. I can't wait to find a new job.
its sad but true.
Im in a funk now. I am all alone. I don't feel like I have real friends in this place (at least not anymore) I have never been against working in Korea even though its just work work work and there is never a moment to truly appreciate existence. I stay here because of my little drop of heaven.
I never want to give that up. I want us to desperately try new alternatives and enjoy our life and never fight. I will do better in all aspects of our life. I am not very good at many things but I will make up for the shortcomings somehow. I have a nightmare that i will lose everything and if I do I can endure or be happy as long as I have Christina.
PIFF showed many different lives in the world. Ours is but a fraudulent utopia scouring the concrete jungle where we live. Lets not become victims of society and just live up to what we desire.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Forgotten Paths
I am surrounded by a net of confusion, business, and new ideals that have beset me and have made me realize the changing times of my life.
Two years ago I set out on an adventure to get some money set aside, learn a new life about a different culture and branch out in hopes to attain the impossible. I left my University life behind me. A time where I drank with my 3 best friends, went out on the town any night of the week and enjoyed roaming the streets of Missoula Montana. I had friends from everywhere. I met with people I used to run with on a regular basis, foreigners from Asia to Europe and was able to be connected with any of my family at any given moment. I was young and incomplete. I had no money, no vehicle and was in many ways an aimless wanderer.
After spending the better part of two years in Korea I have realized that I went from a carefree individual who had not much to do. I never went shopping, never travelled by bus, taxi, subway or train before never wore a tie or dress pants. I was happy to rebel against the norm I wanted to create my own norm and not become the status quo.
I had many friends in my life things were great and things were normal and now all of that is forgotten.
Its now September and I have completed 8.5 months at YBM. I get up at 5am go to bed after 10 each night. Teaching 6 or more classes per day. I teach children how to spit English on Saturday and when I can i do some extra work on the side. I have to be cautious for 2.5 more months though since I could technically get fired if caught.
I want to build up my resume. I want to find a better job in America and I want to take my wife back home where we can truly be settled in a not so busy society. I want to make her understand not to be afraid and not to think too much about America. SI , Unemployment etc. America is only better because its not bali bali. Go go go society.
I think the pressures of Korea make people miserable here. I don't want to care too much about work or anything. Its important we live in happiness and not worry about societal pressure.
This world has a lot to offer.
its now sunday the 12th and i am waiting for the work week to start so it can end asap. I dont want to deal with the complaints of my co workers this week. Teaching will make me worn out.
I am going to try harder to write more and work harder and better this week.
I can't wait until Saturday!
Two years ago I set out on an adventure to get some money set aside, learn a new life about a different culture and branch out in hopes to attain the impossible. I left my University life behind me. A time where I drank with my 3 best friends, went out on the town any night of the week and enjoyed roaming the streets of Missoula Montana. I had friends from everywhere. I met with people I used to run with on a regular basis, foreigners from Asia to Europe and was able to be connected with any of my family at any given moment. I was young and incomplete. I had no money, no vehicle and was in many ways an aimless wanderer.
After spending the better part of two years in Korea I have realized that I went from a carefree individual who had not much to do. I never went shopping, never travelled by bus, taxi, subway or train before never wore a tie or dress pants. I was happy to rebel against the norm I wanted to create my own norm and not become the status quo.
I had many friends in my life things were great and things were normal and now all of that is forgotten.
Its now September and I have completed 8.5 months at YBM. I get up at 5am go to bed after 10 each night. Teaching 6 or more classes per day. I teach children how to spit English on Saturday and when I can i do some extra work on the side. I have to be cautious for 2.5 more months though since I could technically get fired if caught.
I want to build up my resume. I want to find a better job in America and I want to take my wife back home where we can truly be settled in a not so busy society. I want to make her understand not to be afraid and not to think too much about America. SI , Unemployment etc. America is only better because its not bali bali. Go go go society.
I think the pressures of Korea make people miserable here. I don't want to care too much about work or anything. Its important we live in happiness and not worry about societal pressure.
This world has a lot to offer.
its now sunday the 12th and i am waiting for the work week to start so it can end asap. I dont want to deal with the complaints of my co workers this week. Teaching will make me worn out.
I am going to try harder to write more and work harder and better this week.
I can't wait until Saturday!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Nae Yobo
A day in Daegu~
I went to Daegu in order to spend the afternoon with my gf and her friend. It was an outing that saw us go to an amusement park area, a nice duck restaurant, Krispy Kreme and a walk through downtown Daegu. I wanted to do much more with my gf before returning to YBM and consequently the long hours of work.
I am out of practice with my writing since nowadays I only care about work. I am working 160 hours and maybe I will get some more hours.
I am also involved in some personal private affairs that I can't wait to just finish and get paid. I am hoping time flies between now and November since I am tired of SSDD.
I know that deep down inside I have found the most wonderful woman there is on Earth. Its just a manner of killing time waiting for the uneventful days to finish. I have also felt like i have known her my entire life or from somewhere else.
Why do we worry so much? Why do we have difficulties in communication now when before things seemed to be so easy?
My friends have all gone away unfortunately. They have found new jobs, wallowing in the mire waiting for school or work, or have passed on to something better or at least I hope its better.
Life is too short. Considering everything thats going on all I want is to pave away towards peace and tranquility for my gf and I. I love her family and they don't even understand just how much i will go out on a limb for my future wife. Everyone is so worried about money, and the future that they forget about now.
I am focused just on work. I get up at 5 am. I teach at Sinpyeong, I have 3 morning classes. I eat lunch and then I wait until work again at 7. There is something better right?
i don't want us to be stressed, or worried. I want us to figure out everything and do the right things. OUR way. I have a heartache cause my family and friends are already displaced. Its bothersome not having anyone really seem to care much about whats going on here. I am on the brink of making some major life decisions and everyone just blinks.
no matter what happens I always have your best interests at heart. Give everything a chance and don't rule out anything.
it would be nice if I could see my friends here but I am seriously doubting that.
Here I am its 2:30 almost and I am going to publish this.
______
Its been awhile since i have wrote and I apologize for that. I am hungry and should eat a snack. I will clean a little and then go back to work yeah for me.
I finished the manual today that's good for me!
I have too many other side projects and in 18 days I can enjoy myself more freely.
I can't wait until 11:29 I can sleep
This story isn't very good I know but Its just all of my thoughts scribbled down. Everyone seems to get to enjoy themselves but me. Sometimes I feel this way. I teach cause I have to and I want to teach more cause its the only time that I can do well in my mind. I tend to fall off if I am not working
Lets do more we don't have much time
I was happy to spend a wonderful day in Daegu
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Waiting on Dreams
I promised to write a story today but unfortunately I waited until the last moment. ...
I had a promising weekend. A meeting with my future wife, delicious dinners and lunch, and an outing that showed us a future house and potential new shoes which we can attain at a later date. I dashed from Haeundae to Hadan, from Busan University PNU to YBM and everywhere in between.
My dreams are simple. I dont want to pass life by. I don't want to ask What more could I have done. Tomorrow I will work minimally of 6 hours going to Goejeong and working until 10 at night. I will make sure I do everything I want in between shifts leaving no room for doubt Could I do more?
I am a work a holic and I don't mind. I want to work as much as possible in order to avoid trouble. I am happy and content to marrying my gf she is truly my better half. I just wish we could truly enjoy everything as we should be able to. I am too sensitive I know this to be a fact of life.
I think that I am truly a lucky guy. I found a kind hearted woman who is unfortunately as sensitive and worries as much as me. The future is uncertain but I am happy because I have found a great family and deep down inside I just want to give her the chance to see that my family is as good in different ways through all their faults. I admit it my family has a lot of problems that even myself has a hard time understanding but I do know that my family is the most wonderful people in America and would lend a hand in a heartbeat.
I don't care about anything else now other than persuading my girlfriend of the INFINITE ways and possibilities we have awaiting us. Life isn't finite we don't need to worry our lives away. I am hoping to pave the way to a bright future without continuous worry of jobs, etc.
Let us not waste time on unimportant things but open all doors. Lastly, I want to say that traveling isn't something I really want to do either but I just want to make certain we have a strong foundation in the right place and we shouldn't be afraid to try.
I Love you
I had a promising weekend. A meeting with my future wife, delicious dinners and lunch, and an outing that showed us a future house and potential new shoes which we can attain at a later date. I dashed from Haeundae to Hadan, from Busan University PNU to YBM and everywhere in between.
My dreams are simple. I dont want to pass life by. I don't want to ask What more could I have done. Tomorrow I will work minimally of 6 hours going to Goejeong and working until 10 at night. I will make sure I do everything I want in between shifts leaving no room for doubt Could I do more?
I am a work a holic and I don't mind. I want to work as much as possible in order to avoid trouble. I am happy and content to marrying my gf she is truly my better half. I just wish we could truly enjoy everything as we should be able to. I am too sensitive I know this to be a fact of life.
I think that I am truly a lucky guy. I found a kind hearted woman who is unfortunately as sensitive and worries as much as me. The future is uncertain but I am happy because I have found a great family and deep down inside I just want to give her the chance to see that my family is as good in different ways through all their faults. I admit it my family has a lot of problems that even myself has a hard time understanding but I do know that my family is the most wonderful people in America and would lend a hand in a heartbeat.
I don't care about anything else now other than persuading my girlfriend of the INFINITE ways and possibilities we have awaiting us. Life isn't finite we don't need to worry our lives away. I am hoping to pave the way to a bright future without continuous worry of jobs, etc.
Let us not waste time on unimportant things but open all doors. Lastly, I want to say that traveling isn't something I really want to do either but I just want to make certain we have a strong foundation in the right place and we shouldn't be afraid to try.
I Love you
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Blinded Path
Its the same everyday here...
I am learning a lot more though about myself and in my determination to better myself I am overcoming as many obstacles as I can.
Each day I wake at the crack of dawn around 5 am and am strolling to the subway as casually as I would if I were to wake at a normal time like 9am. I am used to the early light. Its apart of me. I go to Sinpyeong to teach a company English. These workers are very nice, they give me a cup of joe and after speaking for 20-30 minutes I trundle on my way. I take a bus and back to the subway for a 15 minute ride.
Everyone on the subway seems lifeless. I noticed this more after my new coworker mentioned this. No one really acts lively they act like they are headed to doom instead of their jobsite, home, or educational training site. I ponder and reflect about my future whether its my new morning classes, what I will do for the afternoon respite or what I hope to attain for my future.
The morning passes by rather quickly. After teaching I eat lunch with my good friends. They are like my grandparents and they help me out quite a lot. Because of them I will have a better and brighter future with my future wife.
I am confronted with some personal issues. I miss my brother in law. I miss my brother a lot too. Both of them in their own ways offer me so much and I really want to do more for them in my future. My parents are estranged with matters I can't understand and that's life. Sometimes I feel responsible for their estrangement. Maybe If I had been there longer they wouldn't have to care so much about things.
I am the youngest teacher at the Academy. I have the most hours out of everyone and am ambitious for more. I am enjoying my position. I have a wonderful relationship with the head teacher who looks to me now as the liason between the teachers. I have made a great friendship with Michael who is actually almost twice my age and the new teacher I am helping as well.
The korean teachers all help me. they help me with so many things and enjoy talking to me. They look to me when any foreigner talks to them because they can't understand what Michael or Andrew is laughing about so I explain. They give me snacks, advice or help me fix problems but even though I have all of this I feel so alone.
having a family, sharing my life and walking down the path with my darling is all that I want. I am sad because I can't understand why I can't do more, or what I need to do. I live alone and I have lived alone for so long that sometimes I feel I was a bad friend or worse inhumane. maybe I had some bad manners or I have some bad concepts.
Maybe I think too much or maybe I am young as everyone so callously points out but I don't feel young. I strive for so much and will never stop at trying to be perfect or close to perfection as possible.
I told my class that I desired a friendship with everyone and together we can make this planet great. I can see past Korean bullshit or American egotistical thinking. No nation or person or ideology is perfect or better than any other. I have been blinded somewhere though because as naive as my ideas are... Maybe they are meant for a utopian society I still feel they are in grasp.
The place I belong is at my Girls side. I need the rain to hide my tears because there is so much I want to share and do but I am not sure how to do it.
Today my computer failed me, my friends and family all ignored my messages. I know they are busy but still its bothersome. I will keep trying and finding new doors.
As I said I am the youngest in the Academy. I am working 3 jobs. Sinpyeong, YBM and Saturday work. I am happy to have elevated myself to this position. I will do more in the months to follow and possibly I will transfer my work and skills to another Academy.
Living in Busan and making things work out with Christina is truly all I want. I just want our Happiness to reign over our world.
I hope you liked the story and aren't too sad I feel so much for you and I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and just how much I want to take care of you, take you away from a poor situation and be your confidente until I die.
I am learning a lot more though about myself and in my determination to better myself I am overcoming as many obstacles as I can.
Each day I wake at the crack of dawn around 5 am and am strolling to the subway as casually as I would if I were to wake at a normal time like 9am. I am used to the early light. Its apart of me. I go to Sinpyeong to teach a company English. These workers are very nice, they give me a cup of joe and after speaking for 20-30 minutes I trundle on my way. I take a bus and back to the subway for a 15 minute ride.
Everyone on the subway seems lifeless. I noticed this more after my new coworker mentioned this. No one really acts lively they act like they are headed to doom instead of their jobsite, home, or educational training site. I ponder and reflect about my future whether its my new morning classes, what I will do for the afternoon respite or what I hope to attain for my future.
The morning passes by rather quickly. After teaching I eat lunch with my good friends. They are like my grandparents and they help me out quite a lot. Because of them I will have a better and brighter future with my future wife.
I am confronted with some personal issues. I miss my brother in law. I miss my brother a lot too. Both of them in their own ways offer me so much and I really want to do more for them in my future. My parents are estranged with matters I can't understand and that's life. Sometimes I feel responsible for their estrangement. Maybe If I had been there longer they wouldn't have to care so much about things.
I am the youngest teacher at the Academy. I have the most hours out of everyone and am ambitious for more. I am enjoying my position. I have a wonderful relationship with the head teacher who looks to me now as the liason between the teachers. I have made a great friendship with Michael who is actually almost twice my age and the new teacher I am helping as well.
The korean teachers all help me. they help me with so many things and enjoy talking to me. They look to me when any foreigner talks to them because they can't understand what Michael or Andrew is laughing about so I explain. They give me snacks, advice or help me fix problems but even though I have all of this I feel so alone.
having a family, sharing my life and walking down the path with my darling is all that I want. I am sad because I can't understand why I can't do more, or what I need to do. I live alone and I have lived alone for so long that sometimes I feel I was a bad friend or worse inhumane. maybe I had some bad manners or I have some bad concepts.
Maybe I think too much or maybe I am young as everyone so callously points out but I don't feel young. I strive for so much and will never stop at trying to be perfect or close to perfection as possible.
I told my class that I desired a friendship with everyone and together we can make this planet great. I can see past Korean bullshit or American egotistical thinking. No nation or person or ideology is perfect or better than any other. I have been blinded somewhere though because as naive as my ideas are... Maybe they are meant for a utopian society I still feel they are in grasp.
The place I belong is at my Girls side. I need the rain to hide my tears because there is so much I want to share and do but I am not sure how to do it.
Today my computer failed me, my friends and family all ignored my messages. I know they are busy but still its bothersome. I will keep trying and finding new doors.
As I said I am the youngest in the Academy. I am working 3 jobs. Sinpyeong, YBM and Saturday work. I am happy to have elevated myself to this position. I will do more in the months to follow and possibly I will transfer my work and skills to another Academy.
Living in Busan and making things work out with Christina is truly all I want. I just want our Happiness to reign over our world.
I hope you liked the story and aren't too sad I feel so much for you and I want the whole world to know just how much I love you and just how much I want to take care of you, take you away from a poor situation and be your confidente until I die.
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